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Leaked Apple Genius Employee Training Manual Makes Your Head Spin

Words Apple Genius Allowed to Use

I could not stop laughing while reading this latest leak to come out of Apple. Sam Biddle of Gizmodo scored the latest Genius Training Student Workbook that Apple uses to train their “Genius” store employees. While some of this stuff is pretty self explanatory (though taken to Apple’s anal retentive extremes) other parts of it seem to really boggle the mind. My favorite snippet is:

Did your computer crash? No, it "stops responding." Never say crash.
What if some Apple software has a bug? Wrong: there’s an "issue," "condition," or simply "situation."
You don’t "eliminate" a problem—you "reduce" it.
No Apple products are hot—at most they’re "warm."

Some are going to scream that it is a reality distortion field but truthfully Apple’s retail experience is second to none according to many retail experts. I have been to a few stores where employees could use a few lessons in humanity that Apple indoctrinates. Either way I found the excerpts of the Genius Training Student Workbook Gizmodo posted to be quite entertaining. Check them out yourself and let us know what you think!

3 total comments on this postSubmit your comment!
  1. I was just in the 5th Ave Apple Store recently…my Aunt was visiting from MO and shopping for a new desktop so she of course had to go to the Apple store…I managed to stick it in there for the half hour or so she was there, got the genious schpeal of course, super crowded…afterwards I wanted a full body rinse in antibacterial soap. I don’t know if its the training, hipsters, acting, or what but the ifanboy act is too much for me. I wouldn’t buy Apple even if the technology did work for me and the prices weren’t ridiculous.

  2. I went to the one in the Rideau Centre in Ottawa, it is mind boggling how popular that store is. They only have a few products to sell and wow do they ever sell! I took a picture and posted it to my Facebook wall with the caption “This is the church, this is the steeple, open the doors and see all the people”.

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