I could not stop laughing while reading this latest leak to come out of Apple. Sam Biddle of Gizmodo scored the latest Genius Training Student Workbook that Apple uses to train their “Genius” store employees. While some of this stuff is pretty self explanatory (though taken to Apple’s anal retentive extremes) other parts of it seem to really boggle the mind. My favorite snippet is:
Did your computer crash? No, it "stops responding." Never say crash.
What if some Apple software has a bug? Wrong: there’s an "issue," "condition," or simply "situation."
You don’t "eliminate" a problem—you "reduce" it.
No Apple products are hot—at most they’re "warm."
Some are going to scream that it is a reality distortion field but truthfully Apple’s retail experience is second to none according to many retail experts. I have been to a few stores where employees could use a few lessons in humanity that Apple indoctrinates. Either way I found the excerpts of the Genius Training Student Workbook Gizmodo posted to be quite entertaining. Check them out yourself and let us know what you think!