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Ode to the BlackBerry Bold 9900 (aka: Dear RIM, wtf?!)

Opera Singing Cat

I accidentally tempted one of our readers this week to write a poem on why RIM should give her a BlackBerry Bold 9900 now instead of making her wait. The dare worked out and Ashley whipped up a nice Ode to the BlackBerry Bold 9900 to vent a bit of her frustration. I know the feeling since I want this device in my hands now instead of later. While playing with it at BlackBerry World I could not help but feel like my dream of a 9000 style device reborn has finally come. Let us know what you think of Ashley’s late night work. Better yet see if you can top her lyrical rant.

Roses are red. Berries are Black.
Hey Rim! Where’s my 9900 at?
First it was June and now ‘late’ summer,
It’s the PlayBook allllll over again! What a bummer!

The CEO of AirAsia got that Bold u delivered,
What are the rest of us? Chopped liver?
You lead us around w/promises so sweet,
When will you give us the fruit of these leaks?

Every day I stay tuned to the BerryReview,
Hoping they’ll tell us u’ve released the Bold (and Torch2?)
You dazzled us with specs as far as the eye could see,
Seduced us w/ talk of BlackBerry Balance and NFC,

You taunt us and tease us w/glimpses of Heaven,
But will we EVER really get to see OS 7?
What are you waiting for? QNX?
If so, YOU’LL need that BlackBerry Protect.

Stocks plummet and consumer ratings fall,
The 9900 a cure for it all?
For sure it’ll make my heart jump for joy,
I’ll coddle it and support it like my own baby boy.

Feed it upgrades of the ‘official’ sort,
So much potential, the ball’s in YOUR court.
The people are waiting. Ready. Willing. And Able
Put the Dakota in our hands, prove it’s not just a fable,

So, dear RIM, what do ya say?
Free the 9900 from your clutches and send it our way?
Roses are red, Berries are Black!
Hey RIM where’s MY 9900 at? 🙁

img via pw0nd

35 total comments on this postSubmit your comment!
  1. She’s got some talent… Forward it to your RIM contacts maybe? It could go viral withing their intranet and maybe reach Jim and Mike themselves.

  2. Funny stuff you two!

  3. Just plain awesome!!!!

  4. Ashley you have taken a while, but, you have grown on me. Your mind works in a wonderful way….. who are you!!!!!

  5. LOL, very funny, conveys my feelings exactly. I WANT A 9900 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Totally enjoyed this, hahaha very nice seriously.

  7. Oh RIMM. Oh RIMM why do you tease. Do you want us to say please, please. When the Bold 9900 finally comes out, the Blackberry world will scream and shout. Old Jobs will cry and drone before making another Iclone. QNX that’s the thing, then RIMM will be like Lord of the Rings – Return of the King.

  8. Bold 9900 is just awesome!!! I love it so much… Arghhhh.

  9. Awesome poem.

    Once again RIM gives us IMPRESSIVE specs but by the time it’s actually released these specs will be nothing more than average (PlayBook anyone?)

    • ash when you say stuff like that it really confuses. how can you possibly elude to the playbook being average!!!!! the cameras are ahead of all, the ram exceeds most and the screen is better than most. to be average would suggest there are an equak amount of better and worse tablets out there…… which ones are the better tablets spec wise… please do tell

      check your comments sometimes. i appreciate your input but not when you are very off base…….

  10. Yes I’ve noticed Ashley has added a distinctly negative b***hing tone to Berry Review, it’s too bad since many of us came to BR to escape the relentless negativism on crackberry.

    • ashley is unique thats for sure and i have been guilty of getting worked up over some of her comments but i think she comes from a good place. i think shes just less optimistic and faithful than some.

      • Less optimistic yes! Lol yes faithful NO…. I have a PB a 9780 and have owned a BB since 97.. I get a NEW BlackBerry EVERY release… Lol and u should see what I say on the Apple/iPhone forums… 😉 lol I just feel confident enough amongst the BB lovers here to present another view… I’m only critical if I care… And I DO love BB…. 🙂 lol

        • just reduce the overtly negative tone sometimes …. if you have nothing nice to say sometimes its better to not say anything! appreciate the passion though…

  11. WOW I’m amused awesome work Ashley whoever u are 🙂 But i agree ” Hey RIM where my 9900 at?”:)

  12. Ya there are a lot of berry lovers over at crackberry too, I don’t call into question Ashley may like BB its just the negative tone. Why bother? Do any of us seriously think people at RIM are saying “wtf phones out now or six months from now who cares?” I can see comments like this a year or two ago when they were asleep in the face of competition, but now it’s just pointless.

    • Agreed negative thoughts are pointless, you are right, what’s the point. If you think rim is doomed.. Go buy a droid or iphone.

      Deep breath kiddo! Deep breath!

    • I can’t blow off steam or vent w/ppl in the real world, no1 understands my geek-ness or bb love to them it’s just a phone… And they find my ‘passion’ odd… And crackberry yeah they vent, but no1 dicusses rationally back… If I went into a forum there and said whaty I say here all I’d get is blind agreement or some1 bashing me in a very nasty manner for my views… Here in this forum ppl not only comment and speak articulantly but they give supporting facts and even offer me another perspective… I’d hate to be the rain cloud of the forum lol… But honestly I was raised to say what I feel… And so I do… 🙂 but I’m not always negative… After all I do want my 9900!!!! Lol. I’m not sayin ‘eff it I’ll get the iphone 5’…

  13. If it doesn’t have flash what’s the point its still going to be obsolete when it arrives I think my 9700 even tho it was a good phone will be my last blackberry I will miss you rim

  14. First of all, great job on the poem. Hopefully one of our. CEOs will read it. I’ve been paently waiting for RIM to catch up to the competition, however I’m done waiting now. I bought a $700 Playbook, all to just return it after using it for 3 hours. The gesture OS is better than anything on the market, but where are the apps? People aren’t going to buy a $700 tablet to suf the internet, especially when you can get an iPad for the same exact price that rocks a collection of apps that you simply can’t imagine. Regretably, all of my peers have switch out of BB and I will be leaving the company once the iPhone 5 comes out. I don’t want to leave, but the delays and subpar technology is embarrasing me in public!

  15. returned it after 3 hours because of no apps?


    oh boy. good one………hahahaha

    oh my…


    • that funny, aye? Are you using the Playbook?

      • Tho my view on the Playbook isn’t all positive and being the app whore that I am.. I must say that at 1st it was a huge turn off… But now I have found dev and apps aplenty… 🙂 app world continues to grow and as soon as it opens up to the android market for us I will be in heaven!!!!! But yes, I too thought about hocking it on CL for a while too…. Buuuuut it grew on me, and I wanted to explore the features better… 🙂

  16. yes! all the time. I am on it now typing this!

    There are no apps that I need nor want right now.

    Its FULL WEB! I don’t even use the facebook app preloaded!

  17. to each his own though…

    • Like I said it was only great for the web. Don’t get me wrong, like I said earlier, the gesture-OS is probably the best on the market. The camera is way better than the iPad, the speed is equal, no flash support on the iPad sucks….but at the end of the day, I use the iPad for email, calendar, news, sports and gaming for my neices. Playbook had nothing as of yet. Put both next to each other with the same apps, and Apple would be in a lot of trouble. I was very patient, but my Torch is laughed at compared to my friends iPhones and Android devices.

  18. only great for web???

    HD video
    Great speakers for audio…

    we are talking about the PB, not the torch.


  19. nice poem

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