BerryReview.com’s BlackBerry Ten Commandments

Sick of church on the weekend? Do you get sore knees bowing to the East every afternoon? Or a headache from a minister who ‘screams’ instead of talking in tongues?
Well, we have something a little different for you. It’s the black art of the BlackBerry religion – lite. A few simple rules to follow here and you will be emailing your way to salvation in no time.

1. Thou shalt not turn off thy BlackBerry.

2. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s BlackBerry.

3. Thou shalt not resort to thy neighbor’s PIN in vain.

4. Thou shalt respond to thy mail in a timely manner.

5. Thou shalt not download stupid voice-activated or other useless apps.

6. Thou shalt remember that the BlackBerry is not a “phone”.

7. Thou shalt accept data outages as part of the Holy BlackBerry Way, not let thy faith wane and not turn to thy carrier for providence. Thou shalt keep strong in thy heart the immovable confidence that thy connection with The Way is never really lost.

8. Thou shalt love, respect and heed thy kin, especially over BB Messenger.

9 Thou shalt know that there is a time and place for everything. For the BlackBerry, it’s all the time!

10. Thou shalt not worship false smartphones!

Had a bit of free time recently so I whipped up this list. This is just one gal’s opinion so don’t take them too seriously. I just thought they would be a good laugh to inspect my own BlackBerry religion. Let me know if you have any ammendments or commandments of your own!

19 total comments on this postSubmit your comment!
  1. 5. Thou shalt not download stupid voice-activated or other useless apps.

    That one’s my favorite! and, I never break

    1. Thou shalt not turn off thy BlackBerry.

  2. Or it could be like monty python (or was his histroy of the world part one) and have theb 15 commandments (crash) the ten commandments. :-)

    We might all go to hell for posting this but I hope it cot some good laughs! Moses might have gotten more done if he could have saved them to his bb instead of scribing them on stone…

  3. Sorry, but THAT was really corny.

    Could someone please do an editorial on Summer’s articles before allowing her to post again in the future?

  4. That was sort of harsh BBGun but I agree with you 1% It had some corniness but it made me laugh with the voice activated part.

    You should have put a blackberry on the dudes head lol. Or put a blackberry in his hand.

  5. Sounds as if some are law breakers… I bet they are guilty of violating the 5th commandment ;)

  6. Thou shall not worship false iPhones.

  7. LOL Randy.

    “Thou shalt not sully thy BlackBerry nameth in the guise of cornball”

    “Thou shalt not heed commandants unless written by a long haired hippy dude with a direct connection to a RIM ninja”

  8. it is not so nice to say “sick of church in weekend” or the bow to the east thingy…this post has crossed the line, u will end up insult some christian and muslim too…if this is wat the arthor of this blog stand for, without proper respect to religion, i am out of here…so, please recosider wen making such joke or better do some editing or add in some text to “balance” this post pls.

  9. For the negative comments, I posted this as a joke. If you can’t see the humor, thats fine, but for you who believe its insulting, I apologize. I am a Christian and a BlackBerry addict just having some fun. This was meant as a joke an nothing more. He who reads between the lines of a joke, lacks humor.

  10. At BerryReview we endevour to post at least one humorous post per week (usually on a Friday as just to lighten it up just before the weekend).
    If some of our readers don’t want to read a humorous post then that is what the scroll button on your computer or device was put there for… scroll past it.
    For all the rest of you that enjoy humor and a light hearted story once in a while, Enjoy.
    KR
    Greg Myers

  11. Oh my god… The post was funny. Have we become so anal and politically correct as to not see the humour in a tongue in cheek post? Shoot me now, then…

  12. If some of our readers don’t want to read a humorous post then that is what the scroll button on your computer or device was put there for… scroll past it.

    They should also feel free to leave criticism if they don’t care for it. Last time i checked comment boxes were for comments. Or are they just for positive pats on the back?

  13. Show me where ANY ONE said people were not free to comment or criticize.

  14. LoL man they is out of proportion, nobody is wrong or right. Our comment are mere opinions. I’d hate to see you guys or gals in person if we didnt agree on what we wanted to eat lol.

  15. I’ll have an extra large moral superiority with a side of righteous indignation to go please! :)

  16. Comments are fine – and encouraged actually – but perhaps, out of courtesy, checking to make sure we’re being respectful before hitting the ‘submit comment’ would be appropriate…

  17. Ya’know…
    There are a fair number of NON-believers and Atheists throughout the world who enjoy seeing a poke at ANY organized religion as more blood has been spilled on the face of this earth in the name of false dieties and organized religion.
    Who is to say they don’t have the right to state their opinion?
    Especially since any statement of Christian beliefs is sure to offend one of the Hindu or Islamic faith?
    I feel as if religion should not enjoy protection of critical discussion any more than any other theory, scientific or otherwise.

    And just for the record….the article WAS funny!

  18. Well said. Someone buy this man a drink!

  19. I thought this was funny. :-D

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