Call Center HelpDesk.

I think the world needs more laughs so a few days ago I asked Ronen to add a ‘Jokes’ section to BerryReview. I will try to keep them short and clean (Can’t promise 🙂 ). Most of them will be forwarded emails that I receive but I might try some original stuff later on… Anyway, this one has been forwarded from a good friend of mine Pete, and I think it’s a ripper (Australian for really good). BTW, this guy (or girl) should not have been fired, instead given a medal for patience…

Enjoy…

“This is alleged to be a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing for ‘Termination without Cause”.
(Now we know why they record these conversations! )

• Operator: ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’
• Caller: ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect. ‘
• Operator: ‘What sort of trouble??’
• Caller: ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’
• Operator: ‘Went away?’
• Caller: ‘They disappeared. ‘
• Operator: ‘Hmm So what does your screen look like now?’
• Caller: ‘Nothing.’
• Operator: ‘Nothing??’
• Caller: ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’
• Operator: ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??’
• Caller: ‘How do I tell?’
• Operator: ‘Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??’
• Caller: ‘What’s a sea-prompt?’
• Operator: ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’
• Caller: ‘There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.’
• Operator: ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator??’
• Caller: ‘What’s a monitor?’
• Operator: ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on??’
• Caller: ‘I don’t know.’
• Operator: ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’
• Caller: ‘Yes, I think so.’
• Operator: ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
• Caller: ‘Yes, it is.’
• Operator: ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??’
• Caller: ‘No.’
• Operator: ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.’
• Caller: ‘Okay, here it is.’
• Operator: ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.’
• Caller: ‘I can’t reach.’
• Operator: ‘Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??’
• Caller: ‘No.’
• Operator: ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??’
• Caller: ‘Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.’
• Operator: ‘Dark??’
• Caller: ‘Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.’
• Operator: ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’
• Caller: ‘I can’t.’
• Operator: ‘No? Why not??’
• Caller: ‘Because there’s a power failure.’
• Operator: ‘A power……. .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??’
• Caller: ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.’
• Operator: ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.’
• Caller: ‘Really? Is it that bad?’
• Operator: ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is.’
• Caller: ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??’
• Operator: ‘Tell them you’re too f*****g stupid to own a computer!!!!!’